New Free Read: EXTREME CLOSE UP
Starting today, every Friday I'll be posting my next free read EXTREME CLOSE UP:

Five years ago, talented photojournalist Jack Templeton took off for Iraq without even saying goodbye to his two best friends, Ally and Carter, after he saw them kissing. In love with Ally himself, he couldn’t bear to stay. Now a call from his high school girlfriend has brought him home. He needs his friends and hopes they’ll support him like they did in the past, although he dreads seeing them as a couple. But things have changed since Jack left. As his problems worsen and he realizes his feelings for Ally haven’t diminished, he struggles with choices between love and friendship, loyalty and betrayal, and saving a life...

My last story, INSATIABLE, attracted a lot of hits to my blog and got a couple of good reviews from readers at Web Fiction Guide Listings Insatiable, so I'm gonna do another one!


Chapter One

Leaving the way he had five years ago was one of the hardest things Jack Templeton had ever done. Since then, the things he’d seen and done had changed him, toughened him...hell, damn near killed him. And yet, coming home might be the hardest thing ever.
Jack checked the address he had for his friends, Carter and Ally. He wasn’t familiar with this part of Los Angeles. Garden City, California where he’d grown up was about a million miles away. He took another look at the map that he’d gotten from the rental car company at LAX and frowned. Yeah, this was it.
He wished he had a better reason to come home. His life was so screwed up right now, he still couldn’t believe it. He’d taken off five years ago to get away from an unbearable situation, and now he was coming home to just as big a mess. After the phone call from Brittany, the mother of all bombs might as well have exploded in his life.
He sat in the parked car for long moments while he worked up the nerve to go in. His stomach tightened with apprehension, his jaw ached. He glanced at his watch. Eight o’clock on a Friday evening. He hadn’t called ahead, so he had no idea if they were even home.
Their home. He rubbed at the tight ache in his chest brought on by thinking about Carter and Ally living together. His mouth tensed with determination. Ally and Carter had been his best friends – they’d be overjoyed to see him again, no doubt. He was just being an idiot.
He climbed out of the car and slammed the door shut, then walked up the sidewalk toward the building, one foot in front of the other, hands thrust in his jeans pockets. The older building had been converted to condominium units, maintaining the Spanish charm and character. The neighborhood wasn’t as upscale as Jack would’ve thought Carter would choose, but decent.
A basket of colorful flowers swayed beside the front door in the evening breeze. Ally’s touch, no doubt. Her favorite color – scarlet. The bright blooms matched the red door. He framed the image into a photograph with his eyes and his imagination - the vivid, saturated crimson of the door and flowers hot against the creamy stucco. Nice.
Again he hesitated before ringing the doorbell. Never mind watching bombs explode, seeing people killed, hearing people cry as loved ones died in their arms…watching Ally and Carter together was going to be the biggest test of his strength he’d ever experienced.
He pressed the button and waited, leaning against the wall. At first he thought he might get a reprieve, that there was no one home, but then he heard the locks on the door clicking.
The door opened and there was Ally.
Freeze frame.
She stood in the door, backlit by the light inside the condo, her hair a fiery halo, her slim body vividly outlined. It was as if the depth of field was shallow, Ally in perfect focus, everything else blurring out. His breath choked him, his heart pounded so hard he thought it might come right out of his chest.
She stared at him in complete and utter astonishment.
“Jack?” She slowly shook her head, her long, auburn hair sliding like silk around her shoulders.
“Ally.” He forced a smile. He studied the picture she made in the doorway. Her hair had grown longer, her body more rounded and curvy. He used to tease her in high school and college about being a skinny beanpole but now ...wow.
Her eyes had always done him in, hazel eyes sparkling with green, gold and brown, and had the ability to see right inside a person. Those eyes now stared at him, wide with shock and disbelief.
“What are you doing here?” Then she blinked. “God, that sounded rude.”
“But a perfectly good question.” He tried to sound light-hearted and friendly. “I’m home.”
Again, she shook her head slowly, then apparently realized they were still standing at her front door. She stepped back and held the door for him.
“Uh ...come in ...”
“Sorry I didn’t call.” He stepped inside, his gaze moving around. “I didn’t know if you’d be home on a Friday night.”
She gave a little laugh that he didn’t know how to interpret.
His initial impression of their home was color – vibrant and alive, like Ally.
He walked in further and Ally shut the door behind him. She led the way into the living room, furnished in an eclectic mix of antiques, refinished junk and new furniture. His photographer’s eyes took in the red walls and patterned carpet on the floor in shades of butter yellow, pale blue and red. Furniture upholstered in stripes, checks and solid red and yellow fabrics could have been wildly garish, but instead looked warm and comfortable.
“Nice place.” Especially compared to the tents and shacks he’d slept in over the years. Of course, there had been five-star hotels in Paris, London and Cairo as well, but not so often.
“Thank you.” She pushed a hand through her hair and continued to stare at him. “Please, sit down. Can I get you a drink ...?”
Yeah, he could use a drink right about now. “That would be great. Whatever you’ve got.”
“Beer?”
Hey, she remembered his beverage of choice. “Sure.”
She disappeared through another door and he took a seat on the sofa. His gaze moved from framed photographs on the wall, over a display of ruby, topaz and sapphire-colored glass bottles, to an overflowing bookcase. A fat candle sat on the ancient trunk that served as a coffee table, burning with a lazy flame and filling the air with an exotic floral scent – jasmine? – that took him back to the Middle East.
Ally returned with two bottles of beer. “I didn’t know if you’d want a glass,” she said. “I can get you one...”
He shook his head and took the proffered drink. “No, this is fine.”
“You always drank from the bottle,” she murmured. She sat in a chair across from him. She took a quick sip from her own bottle and looked at him...coolly. Hell, her gaze could inflict frostbite.
He’d expected a warmer welcome from his best friend after being away for five years. After all, it was him struggling with this whole deal, not Ally.
“Where’s Carter?” he asked, tipping the bottle to his lips. The sharp cold fizz tickled his throat as he drank.
Again she stared at him with confusion. “Carter? I have no idea.”
Now it was his turn for his mouth to drop open. “Huh?”
She and Carter had been living together for almost five years. Yet she didn’t know where he was?
She still stared at him, those amazing eyes pinning him there, and he started to sweat. “You don’t know where he is?” he asked stupidly.
She shook her head slowly, her slender brows drawn together. “Carter and I split up almost two years ago.”
Holy shit. That was not what he’d expected. He struggled to keep his face expressionless even as something - gladness? relief? – fizzed up inside him.
“I’m...I’m sorry,” he finally managed to say. “I had no idea.”
Why the hell not, was his next question. He and Carter had kept in touch over the years by e-mail. Not every day, or even every month, but he’d heard about Carter and Ally moving in together, Carter’s promotions in the prestigious law firm he worked for. He definitely would have remembered Carter telling him that he and Ally had split up. Weird.
“Well, how would you? Since we never heard from you.” The ice in her voice and her words took him aback.
He swallowed hard and gulped down a healthy swig of beer. “But I did keep in touch with Carter.”
She shook her head, a crease between her eyes. “No, you didn’t. You just took off without even saying good-bye, never told us where we could reach you, what you were doing. You could have been dead, for all we knew.”
“Carter knew where I was,” he told her with bewilderment. “I e-mailed him. I e-mailed him a lot.”
She stared at him, eyes huge. “No. He would have told me. We talked about it.”
Now he shook his head. “I don’t know what’s going on,” he said firmly. “But I did e-mail Carter. He wrote me back with your news. I knew you two had moved in together.” He rubbed his forehead. “But he never told me that you’d split up.”
“I don’t get it either,” she said, her voice still frosty. “But it doesn’t matter. You never e-mailed me.”
That was true. Painfully true. They’d been best friends and he’d never contacted her once since he’d left.
“I’m sorry, Ally.” He made the apology but didn’t want to offer any more explanation. She looked at him with an almost hurt expression on her face.
“Never mind.” She waved a hand, sipped her beer. “It doesn’t matter.” She still looked unsettled and ...well, pissed. “So, tell me why you’re here, suddenly showing up out of the blue.”
He pressed his lips together and looked down at the beer bottle clasped in his hands, the glass icy smooth beneath his fingers. “Well. I have a bit of a problem. Hell, that’s an understatement.” He thrust a hand through his hair, looked everywhere around the room but at Ally. “I have a huge goddamn problem.”

EXTREME CLOSE UP Chapter 2
What I'm Reading Wednesday
This week I finished:
A Perfect Match – by Shelley Bradley – a nice light contemporary romance by one of my favorite authors, lots of great sexual tension.

Submission by Cherie Feather – I started this book some time ago, and just picked up it again and finished it. I ended up really enjoying this BDSM story for the most part. I still had problems with some of the "definitions" at the beginning, but once past that, the story was hot and innovative.

The California Directory of Fine Wineries J
Picked this book up in Solvang, California during our recent stay there. It is research for my next story idea…J

And I’m almost finished Dear Sir, I’m Yours by Joely Sue Burkhart – I really enjoyed this BDSM story from a Samhain author I've never read before.

And still keeping up with Greyound Summer by Nara Malone -if you haven't checked this story out, you should. Nara's a brilliant writer and this story is a great summer journey. The Editors at textnovel.com selected Greyhound Summer as an Editor’s Pick and you can read the story there too and vote for Greyhound Summer.
Last day

I don’t want to go home!


I have a BIG pout on. I seriously love this place so much. I don’t know why I feel such a connection to it – maybe because it’s so beautiful with the mountains and the ocean and the flowers and the palm trees. Or because I’m always on vacation when I’m here and can leave all the stress and problems of real life at home.


It’s so nice that they celebrated our last day with fireworks – oh, okay, it’s because it’s the Fourth of July. Awesome fireworks on the beach. I've never seen Cabrillo like that! I specially love the ones that look like palm trees. We went to the parade on State Street this afternoon and checked out some of the things going on at the beach – the usual Sunday Arts and Crafts show was on today, and we drank huge pina coladas out of pineapples. Only problem was getting dinner – our favourite pizza restaurant was closed – DAMMIT! We ended up eating hot dogs and curly fries at the beach.

Between the edits on How to Save a Life and this trip, we’ve learned to speak American:
Trash not garbage
Check not bill (In a restaurant)
Soda not pop
Restroom or bathroom not washroom
Napkin not serviette
And many people, when you say thank you, instead of saying “you’re welcome” say “uh-huh”.

I have to remind myself of the good things about going home – sleeping on our own bed, cooking our own food, seeing our dog who we’ve missed so much especially every time we see a dog here. But I know we’ll be back...some day. Hopefully not too far away...
Vacation Day...what day is it?

I've lost track. Back to Santa Barbara (that's our hotel above). Had a lazier day around the pool, walked on the beach after dinner. This city is filling up - compared to Monday and Tuesday which were quiet, we had a hard time finding parking this evening. The holiday weekend is heating up. I've never been in the US for the Fourth of July so this will be interesting...
What I'm Reading Wednesday
Greyound Summer by Nara Malone is keeping me reading as things heat up for Arie. Good thing I brought my laptop on my holiday!

I finished Strong Silent Type and went right on to Branded as Trouble, both by Lorelei James. Branded as Trouble had a couple both with interesting pasts. I really liked the way they understand each other's struggles.

Now I'm reading Bound by Love by TA Chase...

Will post more later about Vacation Day 5....

10:15 PM
This day was like a dream. I know it would be a better story if everything went wrong, but it was so good. So perfect.

This trip was to be our 25th anniversary celebration. Our kids insisted on coming with us (they're teenagers, 16 and 19) and even though we wanted this to be our trip, we let them come because, hey, we actually like our kids, and strangely enough, our kids like us. I don't know how many teenagers like to spend time with their parents, but ours do and we feel lucky - although sometimes we say "could we just have a couple of hours alone???" Well, today we got it - we left Santa Barbara around noon - left the kids there on their own. We drove through San Marcos pass, through ear-popping ups and downs, into the valley. We passed areas that were burnt during the recent fires. We drove through golden hills, dotted with curly green trees, and spotted at least three eagles soaring above.

We first went to a winery near Santa Ynez, so beautiful, (pix tomorrow - my official photog didn't bring his laptop to convert from raw to JPEG). Then we checked into our stunning boutique hotel in Solvang - French country furniture, dark walls, a fireplace - and the bed was very nice, too. :-) We wandered around town, bought a few Christmas ornaments ( we collect those from everywhere we travel), bought strawberries at the farmers market, then went back to the hotel for dinner.

Included in our hotel package was dinner and it was fabulous - and we got a free bottle of wine! So nice. After dinner we put on our robes from the room and went down to the hot tub. Met a nice couple whose kids were too young to leave alone, but they were getting pretty frisky in the hot tub anyway and ...well, it was hard not to, also. Two fireplaces lit up the hot tub area, so nice, and we had the lovely wine we'd bought earlier, with nice stemless wine glasses from the room.

I'd had an idea for a story kicking around in my head, but I've found I need to combine ideas - and today I got another idea, so I combined the two while I was floating in the hot tub - yes! Great story beginning...I haven't written at all while on this trip, but I'm still thinking about it....
Vacation Day 4
Life's a beach.
SPF 45 is not enough.
Coconut-crusted white sea bass with mango avocado salsa is very good.
Especially with Robert Mondavi Sauvignon Blanc.
Kelly JamiesonComment
Vacation Day 3





















Santa Barbara - 6:30 am - Husband's cell phone goes off. It's Monday morning, 8:00 am at home. Is this going to be one of those vacations where he spends half his time on the phone doing business?

2:30 pm - Yes. It is. This is what happens when you're self-employed and a one man operation. Half the time on the phone, some on the computer and a little time actually with us. I'm not bitter. Seriously, at least we're here.

Walked out on Stearns' Wharf this morning and saw a few dolphins playing in the harbor. We have to see dolphins every trip - my kids have such a special love for dolphins.

Everyone is sunburnt (that hazy cloud really fools you :-) ) Before we came, the kids were checking the forecast and they were annoyed because it was hotter at home than it is here in California (on the coast!! Inland temps are over 100 degrees F!!). It was hard to explain that the sun is stronger but the ocean breezes make it feel cooler. Of course when we were sweating yesterday at Universal Studios I was not listening to ANY complaints about how hot it was.

We watched fishermen unloading sea urchins - thousands of them! - down at the harbor this evening. Then we watched some small crabs playing on the rocks. And I'm driving my family crazy stopping to look at flowers and plants. I want to know what they all are. I recognize some of them that we grow as houseplants or annuals at home - hibiscus, azaleas, bougainvillea, bird of paradise, fig trees - but there are others I need to know what they are! What are those trees with the purple flowers? And the ones with the big white flowers? And those big yellow flowering vines? I'm hoping for a visit to the botanical gardens...
Vacation Day 2






Santa Barbara, CA 9:30 pm
We're here! Packed a lot into today and we all have aching feet and legs. This morning we walked out onto the Santa Monica Pier. Then - because we're here and had to say we did it - we went to Hollywood Boulevard to see Michael Jackson's star. What a circus it was - media parked on the street, security lining people up to take photos of each other in front of the star. The sidewalks were packed with people. Well, now we can say we did it. Then we spent the rest of the day at Universal Studios. Hot! Temps in the 90's and we had to wait 1 1/2 hours to get in because their computer system went down. The afternoon was fun, Universal's very cool, but it was hot and crowded and after walking all day we were pretty burnt out.

Finally we rolled into Santa Barbara around 8:30. When I saw the sign for Cabrillo Boulevard a feeling of such joy swelled up in me - it's been about five years since we've ben back. I love it here so much. It's so familiar, yet still so exotic with the red tile roofs and palm trees and tropical flowers. There were a lot of low clouds as we drove up the coast, obscuring the ocean and shrouding the tops of the hills. Now I'm off to soak my weary bod in the hot tub.
My summer vacation Day 1
Calgary 9:15 am - sitting in the airport with 3 more hours until our connecting flight to LA. Blogger is giving me problems with the wireless internet here. I have edits to work on for How to Save a Life...may have to do that.

Los Angeles - 10:30 pm
When we went to claim our baggage and go through customs in Calgary, my suitcase was nowhere to be found. AAAH! Everyone else's was there. We checked with the airline and they said I'd just have to go on to LA without it. Not too happy. But...when we got to LA and claimed our baggage - there it was! I think someone else must have taken it by mistake and checked it through. It was tagged through to LA so it made it. Whew!

Got to the hotel around 6:00, checked in went for dinner at the Promenade in Santa Monica. Did a little shopping, watched some street performers, then we were going to go out on the Pier but we were all too tired - up at 4:30 am and it was 11:00 our time. We may go by there in the morning...
What I'm Reading Wednesday
What I’m Reading Wednesday

Of course I’m still reading Greyhound Summer by Nara Malone at her blog, as Arie starts her journey.

I also read Sweet Persuasion by Maya Banks. Maya Banks has become one of my new favourites. This was a sweet story of domination and submission. It sounds like an oxymoron (like I wrote a vanilla ménage story according to one reader reviewer of Love Me). But it works and definitely hot yet sweet.

I loaded up my Sony Reader for a trip we’re starting on Saturday, but darn, I couldn’t help starting Lorelei James’ story Strong Silent Type. I was supposed to be saving it for the trip! I’ve got a few others of hers loaded up, too, along with a few more Tara Janzen stories. I may add a few others...

And in between I’m reading A Sports-writer’s Life by Gerald Eskenazi.
Deleted scene!
Since my story Insatiable wrapped up last week, this week I thought I'd post a deleted scene from Love Me just for fun! This was originally my opening, but I usually rewrite my openings and I cut this one:


She didn’t have her car keys. Damn it.
Melina burrowed through her purse. Not there. She gritted her teeth. The one morning she had to get to work early, everything was going wrong. Every little thing seemed to take so much longer – her hair wouldn’t go straight under the flat iron, the blouse she’d chosen to wear had a stain on it that she hadn’t seen, the other blouse that went with her pink tweed suit needed to be ironed, there was a pile of Gavin’s shirts on the ironing board – it went on and on.
And now she didn’t have her car keys. She closed her eyes. Where the hell were they? Then she remembered, she’d rushed back into the bathroom to check her teeth just as she’d been on her way out the door the first time. She’d probably left them there.
She ran back into the apartment. She could hear the shower running. Gavin was in there, getting ready for work. Oh well. She had to find her keys.
Without knocking, she opened the bathroom door and walked in, eyes roving over the vanity. Ha, there they were!
She was reaching out a hand to snatch up the keys when her eyes were drawn to the silhouette of Gavin’s body behind the fogged-up glass door of the shower. Her mouth dropped open and she froze in place.
His head was back, both hands between his legs, one hand apparently cupping his balls, the other fisting his cock and pumping.
He was masturbating.
She stared at him, her body tight and still. Why was he doing that?
Just last night she’d wanted to have sex and he’d rolled over and mumbled something about being too tired. Then she was lying there, achy, needy and rejected, while he snored softly.
She swallowed hard, anger and hurt making her hot and tense even as Gavin let out a moan audible over the sound of the water. She backed out of the room, keys in hand, and quietly shut the door. She stood in the hall, drew in a shaky breath.
She just didn’t get it. What guy would turn down sex and then a few hours later, masturbate? She slowly walked down the hall to the door of their apartment, only realizing as she let herself out that getting to work early was not going to happen.
Not only did she arrive at her usual time but the first hour of the morning was spent staring blankly at her computer screen. When her friend Kevin came by her office to go for coffee she’d accomplished nothing. Zip. Zilch.
They went to the Starbuck’s across the street from their office building.
“Did you know you could save five hundred dollars a year by making your coffee at home?” Kevin asked her as they found a seat in the back of the restaurant.
“Really.”
“Yeah. We must spend a fortune coming here every day.”
“Probably.”
Kevin gave her a look. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing.” Melina sighed and stirred her coffee.
“Bullshit. You look like someone died.”
She gave her friend a small smile. “I’m worried about Gavin and me.”
“Oh.” Kevin grimaced. “Trouble in paradise? I can’t believe it.”
“Hardly paradise,” Melina answered. Then she sighed again. “Well, actually, it was paradise. For the first six months. I don’t know what happened.” She lifted her eyes to Kevin’s face. “You’re a guy. Help me out here. I don’t understand how he could just suddenly lose interest in me.”
“Have you two been living together for six months already?”
“Yeah. Six months. I was so happy.” She sniffed.
Kevin sat back in his chair and frowned. “You’re not going to cry are you?”
“Why are guys so afraid of tears?” she demanded, with another sniffle. “And no, I’m not going to cry.”
“Good.” He sipped his coffee. “Guys don’t like all that mushy, emotional stuff. That’s all. When girls cry, it scares us.”
“Then why’d you ask me what’s wrong, if you didn’t want to hear it? God, men are bizarre.”
Kevin grinned. “Sorry. Go ahead. Tell me everything.”
Melina just pushed in one corner of her mouth in a crooked smile. “Never mind. How much money could we save by not coming here? I could buy shoes…”
What I'm Reading Wednesday
Zen and the Art of Archery (thank you Nara!)
No, I haven’t taken up archery, although I may pass the book on to my husband and son, who do archery (I personally don’t approve of sports that involve weapons J ) (Hockey does not count J )

I am relating the advice in the book to my writing career. For example: “The right art is purposeless, aimless...the more obstinately you try to learn how to shoot the arrow for the sake of hitting the goal, the less you will success in the one and the further the other will recede.” And “You must learn to wait properly.” (Waiting is something I’ve never been very good at J ) You do that “By letting go of yourself, leaving yourself and everything yours behind you so decisively that nothing more is left of you but a purposeless tension.”

I really need to think about that.

Open Ice by Jack Falla – hockey research for hopefully my next hockey story.

I finished No Limits by Alison Kent last week. Another good SG5 story, although I thought Mickey's character development could have been a little stronger. I liked her though.

Crazy Hot by Tara Janzen – hot hot hot!! Love it. I finished it in the middle of last night in a bout of insomnia. I really enjoy meeting the characters that appear in other books. Like I said, I'm reading them all out of order - so this book I met Johnny Ramos, the hero of the very first Tara Janzen book I read. In this story he's still a kid; but he grows up! I also met Christian, whose story I read last week. It's cool to know the hero before the heroine! And Nikki and Kid met in this story, but in the next they reconnect...although I haven't read the completion of their story. Maybe I'll find that one and read it next...
Insatiable Part 23

Chloe arrived at her office the next morning aching with fatigue and weighed down with sadness. She’d half hoped Tyler would come to her last night, even if it was late, to tell her he loved her and didn’t want anyone else. The other half of her had dreaded the thought of another confrontation. It was too emotionally draining, too scary. If it was going to end, better that it end calmly. Even though she’d known this day was going to come, she felt like her heart had been ripped out of her chest and stomped on.
She made coffee and while she waited for it to brew she looked at the reservation book for that evening to see how busy it would be. Full, as usual. She sighed, took her coffee upstairs sat down at her desk. Five minutes later she realized she was sitting there staring at a dark computer screen. As she reached for the button on the computer, her eyes fell on the magazine article sitting on her desk. Tyler must have looked it over already.
She picked it up to fax it back to the magazine, then saw it had already been faxed. She frowned, flipped a page, and the red ink on page two jumped out at her. Tyler had drawn thick lines through an entire paragraph and scribbled notes.
“My girlfriend Chloe is the most important thing in my life,” she read. “She’s the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. I love her more than anything.”
She stared at the words, her breath stuck in her throat, heart thumping, insides trembling. She lowered the papers to the desk with shaky hands.
What did this mean? This was totally contrary to the explicit instructions Joe had given him to maintain his single playboy image.
She looked down at the papers again. Tyler had to have put them on her desk after they’d talked last night. What the...?
She lowered her forehead to her desk. Oh God. Now what was she going to do?
She didn’t even know if he’d come in yet, but she picked up the article, stood and marched downstairs to his office. He was sitting at his desk as if he was waiting for her. She tossed the papers on his desk in front of him. “Are you out of your mind?” she demanded.
His smile faded and his brows drew down. “Huh?” His mouth fell open.
“Those are the changes you want to make to the article?” She fisted her hands on her hips, planted her feet and glared at him.
His eyes met and held hers. “Yes. Is there a problem with that?”
“Of course there’s a problem! Joe told you specifically not to say anything like that. And why would you? Now? When we’re done?”
His fierce scowl startled her. “We’re not done.”
“Oh yes we are. After last night...”
He surged to his feet, slammed his palms down on the desk and leaned forward. She took a small step back. “Nothing happened last night.” Sparks shot from his dark eyes. “Other than in your imagination. Although now that you mention it, if you trust me so little, you clearly don’t love me like you said you do.” He bit out each word.
Chloe swallowed hard, her mouth dry. Her heart fluttered wildly in her chest. “Well, then we’re even,” she retorted, hating the way her voice quivered. “Because I never did believe you loved me, like you said.”
Tyler moved from behind his desk with scary speed. With one hand, he slammed the door of his office shut so hard the air in the room vibrated. She glanced nervously at the door, back at him.
“What the fuck is going on, Chloe?” He advanced toward her and she took another step back. The ferocious intensity on his face alarmed her. Her entire body shook so hard she though she might fall down.
“Wh-what do you mean? J-Joe is not going to be happy. That’s not the image he wants to sell.”
“I don’t give a shit what kind of image he wants to sell.” His voice was soft as whipped cream. He stopped in front of her, crowding her back against the wall with his big, hot body. “I’m me, and I want you. That’s it.”
Her lungs seized up.
“But that’s not what I’m talking about,” he continued. His breath warmed her forehead. “I’m talking about why you’re picking this fight.”
“I’m not picking a fight!”
“Yes, you are.” He laid his hands on the wall on either side of her, pressed against her. She swallowed a moan. “Nothing happened last night. I love you, Chloe.” His eyes focused intently on her. “I told you that. I don’t know how else to convince you that I love you. I don’t want anyone else. Ever.”
She squeezed her eyes closed against the tears that burned there as he pressed against her, and she felt his heart thumping as loud and hard as hers. The hands on either side of her head trembled slightly – was he as terrified as she was?
“It’s like you’re pushing me away,” he groaned. “For no good reason. Please, Chloe, what’s really going on?” He gave a mirthless laugh. “Last night, I was almost hoping you were jealous, because that would mean you really feel something for me.” She stared up at him. Oh God, of course she felt something for him. Didn’t he know that? Hadn’t she shown him that over and over again?
Well, no. Not last night. Last night she’d been careful to keep her emotions all wrapped up, nice and tidy. With a bow on top. Like she always did. Her heart felt a little stab. Was she driving Tyler away because she was afraid to show her feelings? Because she was afraid to have feelings?
“You have to trust me,” he said, his voice low and husky. “I’m sorry about my past, but I can’t change that. I don’t know what else to do to convince you.” “I do trust you,” she whispered, sagging between him and the wall. She rested her hands on his chest, warm and strong under his T-shirt. “I do.” She closed her eyes. “I’m just so afraid, Tyler.”
He slid one arm between her and the wall to support her, then tipped her chin up. She lifted her eyes and met his warm gaze. “Ah, Chloe. What are you afraid of?” She closed her eyes against the tenderness in his eyes. “I’m afraid of feeling. Of feeling too much.”
He let out a long breath. “Come.” He picked her up and carried her back to the chair behind his desk, sat down with her on his lap. “Chloe. Tell me about it.”
“I was jealous last night,” she confessed. “A little. But deep down, I knew you wouldn’t do anything.” She shook her head. “I’m just so afraid. You make me feel so much that I’ve never felt before. I’m so afraid of what will happen if it ends.”
“So you decided to end it first.”
She bit her bottom lip, pressed her face against the side of his neck.
“Everyone’s afraid of getting hurt, Chloe.”
“I know. But...”
“I know this is because of what you went through with your mother.” His hand smoothed down her hair.
She let out a long, shaky breath. “Sometimes when you’re in one of your moods it scares me a little.”
He went very still. Then he slowly tipped her head back so she was looking at him. “I’m not bi-polar, Chloe.”
“I know,” she whispered. “I know. But you’re so emotional, so intense...it brings back stuff...”
“Like that night in LA.”
She nodded.
“But you’ve never showed anything, Chloe.” His eyes searched her face. “You never seem afraid of me.”
“I’m not afraid of you!” she protested. “I’m afraid of all that emotion...all that passion. That’s what scares me.”
“Ah. But that’s the way I am.”
“I know. I know. And,” she choked a little on her tears. “And I love you for that. I do. That’s what scares me. I’ve never felt like this before – out of control, so high I’m afraid of coming down.”
He pressed his face against the top of her head. “That’s what life is Chloe. You can’t avoid the good stuff because you’re afraid of the bad stuff. Shit happens, but you’re strong. You can handle it.” He looked her in the eyes again, his face serious. “Look how you dealt after your mother died. You raised Carly.”
“And screwed it up,” she finished bitterly.
He shook his head. “No. You’re not responsible for her running away.”
“I might be.” She looked up at him through her eyelashes. “Maybe I drove her away. I was trying to be strong for her, but maybe she needed to see how scared I was, too.”
“Ah, sweetheart.” He pulled her close again. “You were just a kid yourself. You did the best you could. You had to survive, too. And we’re going to find her. I’ll help.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“But you’ve done so much for me.”
“Wh...what have I done for you?”
He smiled, tucked a strand of hair behind her shoulder. “You keep me from pissing people off.”
She choked out a laugh.
“You do,” he insisted. “Ups and downs are part of life, yeah, but sometimes I go a bit too far.”
She smiled at him through a haze of tears. “Yeah, you do.” He tapped her nose, but smiled. “You also love me for who I really am. Or should I say, despite who I really am...not because I’m some kind of celebrity. You have no idea how special that is.” He held her gaze, and warmth seeped through her. “You don’t need to be afraid, Chloe, because we’ll be together. I’ll always be there for you. I didn’t know how to convince you I love you, other than change the article. Or ask you to marry me.”
She drew back in astonishment and looked at him. “You ...you want to get married?” she choked out. She lifted one hand to swipe at her eyes.
“God, you’re not supposed to be crying when I ask you,” he growled. “You’re supposed to be happy.”
“I am happy. I think. I’m so confused I’m not sure what I’m feeling! I love you, too Tyler. I just can’t believe this.”
He groaned and held her tighter. “Believe it. Please, believe it.” He held her tightly for a long moment, their hearts thudding together, then he loosened his grip.
“Since we’ve been together, I feel so different,” he said. “You make me better. You balance me. Keep me steady. Make me realize what’s important. Family is important. You’re important. I want us to be together, forever. I want to have babies with you.”
Her heart stuttered at his words. Never in her wildest dreams and fantasies could she have imagined this. Tyler wanting to settle down and have a family. With her!
His open vulnerability touched her deep inside. “I want to slow down a little,” he continued, stroking his other hand down her hair. “That Chef Wars thing...I don’t want to do that right now. I’ll do the Oprah show, and the cookbook. That TV show...I don’t know.”
She looked at him and touched his beautiful face. “I want you to be happy. Whatever you want to do is fine with me. If you want to be a superstar that’s okay. If you don’t, I’m okay with that too.”
“I think I’d like to buy a little winery.” He leaned his head back and looked up at the ceiling. “In the valley. Maybe have a restaurant there...what do you think of that?”
She smiled at him. “That sounds wonderful. Whatever you want. If you want me, I’m there.”
“God, of course I want you!” he growled, and his hand fisted in her hair and he kissed her hard. “Get over it Chloe. You’re mine.”
A thrill of excitement shot through her, her stomach did a little flip and heat built between her legs. She laid her hand on his cheek and met his eyes.
“I love you Tyler,” she murmured. “So, so much.”
He kissed her again, deeply, hungrily, tasting her with his lips and his tongue, drinking in her essence, opening her mouth under his. Their kisses heated, devoured, spiraled out of control but Chloe let herself go, reveling in the sensations. Then she broke the kiss, pressed her hot face to his neck and panted.
“You’re insatiable,” she gasped.
He laughed. “Oh yeah. I told you before, Chloe, I will never get enough of you.”
Life had been easy before, but it had been colorless, tasteless, bland. Until Tyler had given her...the spice of desire...the spark of heat...the vivid, bright, exciting taste of love.

THE END
What I'm Reading Wednesday
Okay, before I talk about what I've read this week I just have to say - GO PENGUINS! And GO MOOSE! Both my teams won last night. Must have been because it was my 25th wedding anniversary. Now there's a romantic way to spend your 25th anniversary - flipping back and forth between two hockey games!

One Reckless Summer by Toni Blake
I recently read The Bikini Diaries by Lacey Alexander, one of my favorite authors, and of course I kove Toni Blake too since they’re the same person. One Reckless Summer by Toni Blake should carry a Kleenex alert as I sobbed my way through the last chapters, staying up until midnight to finish it. I don’t even want to talk about what happens - just read it!

The conflict between right and wrong, black and white is so well done. Mick is doing something that technically yeah, is very wrong. Something for which there could be very serious consequences. And Jenny is doing something wrong, too, with potentially just as serious consequences. And yet – you’re rooting for both of them, wanting them to do what they’re doing because it’s NOT just black and white, there are all kinds of shades of grey and there are all kinds of reasons people do the things they do. And then to make things worse, Jenny betrays a confidence. When Mick finds out about the betrayal, he doesn’t know why she did it, he just knows she did it. But again, there are shades of grey and reasons why...

Can there be good reasons for betraying a confidence, keeping a secret, telling a lie, breaking a law…?

In the Flesh by Livia Dare (aka Sylvia Day)
This is a super-hot story with a sexy kick-ass heroine who fights along side the man she loves. The story is simple, but the stakes are high, and the fictional world is well created. I usually don’t read many fantasy/futuristic kinds of stories, but I could picture this world clearly and the technology was well-integrated into the story, believable and not “too convenient”. A great read!

And I’ve just started No Limits by Alison Kent.
WORTH WAITING FOR - release contest



My first book from Amber Quill Press is out today! Here's the blurb and an excerpt - anyone who leaves a comment is entered to win a free e-copy of WORTH WAITING FOR. I'll draw the winner Tuesday evening.
Also check out the video trailer here
Ten years ago, Griff Campbell walked out of Ainslie Patterson’s life without a word, breaking her young heart. Now, just when she thinks she’s over him and has found love with someone else, he strolls back into her life, still as charming, playful and irresistible as ever.

Ainslie knows she’s changed a lot in the last ten years, and she discovers so has Griff. So shouldn’t the attraction between them have disappeared along with the people they used to be? But that pull between them is still there, unstoppable, unavoidable...unsettling. Why has Griff shown up after all these years? Just to lure her into his web of charm only to break her heart again? Or could they have something together now, something that was all worth waiting for?

EXCERPT:
Oh, God. He was getting to her, drawing her in to his enchanting web yet again. A familiar helplessness wrapped around her. This was crazy. She’d changed a lot in ten years, and he could not do this to her all over again. No way.
But again, when she looked into his eyes, she felt herself warming and yielding, against her will. She did believe him.
“Okay,” she conceded. “You never cheated on me. But you still hurt me.”
He lifted his beer to his mouth and took a long pull. She watched his throat work as he swallowed and it was sexy as hell. She studied him across the table.
His face was the same, if a little more mature. His dark hair that had been a haphazard mop was now cut short, longer on top, casually brushed back from his face. The eyes were the same, maybe a little more intense. His body had filled out. He’d only been twenty-two years old the last time she saw him…tall, lean and sinewy. Now his shoulders were broader, the muscles in his arms more defined, his chest solid. He was
still gorgeous, although Ainslie recalled that some of her friends had thought him a little geeky way back in college. No way was he a geek now.
“You were my first real girlfriend,” he said. “Before I met you, nobody else would even look at me. I was a major dork.”
She couldn’t help but smile. “You were never dorky.” Immediately she regretted saying that. He’d never had any lack of confidence, despite the self-deprecating comment.
He grinned then. “Whatever. Anyway, I…did care about you.”
“Funny way of showing it.”
Again, his grin faded.
“Sorry,” she muttered. “I’m trying to listen.”
He nodded, his gaze going to the condensation on the beer bottle. He rubbed his thumb through it and the slow, sensuous gesture reminded her of his thumb on her left ring finger a few moments ago. A flashing vision of his hand on her breast, his thumb on her nipple, made her head grow dizzy, her pussy warm and wet. She gulped her wine, which did nothing to alleviate the dizziness, but was pleasantly cooling.
“I did,” he insisted, not looking at her. “I know I had a strange way of showing it, but that was the problem. I didn’t want to admit to myself how I felt. It was way too much. Too much for a young kid with all kinds of ambitions and goals. Too much and way too soon.”
Her body softened, sank into the chair, warm and molten. Despite her wildest fantasies, she’d never expected to hear these words from Griff. She had to be strong, though. He had that strange power over her, and it certainly seemed it still existed, despite the years that had passed. He was dangerous.


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